i am so needy!

“We were created with a craving to be pursued, delighted in, and enjoyed, first by God and then by our loved ones.  Understanding God’s affection for us is where we begin to live exhilarated by His love.”  ~ Mike Bickle

 

Our need to belong and be significant is not because we are needy.  God created us with a specific set of needs to be met, in order for us to feel we are living life to the fullest.  When these needs are met, we feel whole and alive.  When they are not met, we are simply in survival mode…coping, maintaining sanity, and just existing.  There are just some days our crown sits a little crooked.

Sometimes, life just tries to take over, we begin to bump into our own humanity and we feel defeated.  Our needs are just not being met.  But, what gets us to this point?   As a wife, a mom of three beautiful children, a student, a sister, a daughter, a graphic and web designer and more, I wear many hats.  Often times when I have stopped leaning into Holy Spirit due to the stress of one of my roles, the enemy takes that opportunity to use those roles to influence who I am.  It is usually in those moments that I hear the lies of the enemy; “You’re not a good mom!”, “You are going to fail that exam!”, “Your husband doesn’t find you attractive!”, “You don’t spend enough time with your mom.”

It’s not my kids that make me feel this way.  It’s not my teacher or school that makes me feel like I am going to fail, or my husband who makes me feel unattractive or even my mom’s illness that makes me feel guilty.  It is where I choose to dine and have my needs met.
I am almost 40 years old and have only, just finally found where my needs are truly met.   The only place I can be fulfilled, is in His presence.   There are many tables (that may temporarily fill my needs) that I am invited to sit at but He has prepared a table before me, with a smorgasbord of the things in life I need to not just survive, but live.  To live out the calling He has for me.  To live my life completely and utterly for Him.  I may be amongst my enemies but I will plant my heels where they are, take a seat and trust my most gracious Host to provide me with all that I need to feel completely satisfied…to feel significant and like I belong.

I am His daughter…the daughter of the One True King.  I am royalty and I DO wear a crown.  My crown might be crooked on days, but there is rest for me, in knowing I am His.  He never asked us to clean up or straighten our crown when we dine with Him.  He will handle the clean up and He will straighten my crown.

 

4 thoughts on “i am so needy!

  1. Wow Alice! What a timely word! I love that He’s the only person that can truly straighten or crown and not we ourselves, or anyone else for that matter! I love that we were made to be daughters to The Most High King, before we were created to be or do anything else in this life! I agree with you that we need only take our seat that He has set at the table for us AND DIG IN!

    1. Thank you Bianca! Recently, I have heard a handful of incredible breakdowns of what God truly meant in Psalms 23 by saying, “You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;”. To know that I sit at a table…an intimate setting with just He and I first off, is an incredible image in my head. Although, to know that my enemies (of doubt, fear, defeat, fear of man, etc) are standing around my table but can’t touch me (as long as I am at that table), is the most peaceful setting to me!

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